Becoming the CEO of YOU

In this episode, From Burnout to Balance ~ Becoming the CEO of YOU, we’ll explore the contrast between operating as the overburdened “Chief Everything Officer” and the more connected, intuitive approach of the “Chief Energy Operator.” We’ll delve into how self-compassion and self-awareness can guide us away from toxic success patterns and towards a balanced, heart-centered existence.

So, a warm hello to you, my friend, and welcome to The Magic Mindfulness Podcast, where we dive into the art of being present and living our most vibrant and fulfilling life. Today we have a truly enlightening conversation in store for you.

Joining us is Christina Kunkle, the founder of Synergy Life and Wellness Coaching, and a veritable treasure trove of wisdom on mindfulness in personal growth and leadership. Christina will share her journey from battling burnout to embracing her role as a “Chief Energy Operator,” shedding light on the transformative power of authenticity and emotional regulation.

Christina and I will discuss the pitfalls of the fear-based ego, anxiety’s role in energy regulation, and the crucial part emotional regulation plays in maintaining a calm, grounded state. We’ll also look at the “C.R.A.P. cycle” many find themselves stuck in, and how to cultivate resilience and peace. Listeners can look forward to practical advice on recognizing red flags of burnout, the effects of stressors at different stages of our lives, and the importance of staying curious without judgment as a path to transformation.

By the end of our chat, you’ll have the blueprint to assess whether you’re on the path to burnout as a Chief Everything Officer, and how to pivot towards thriving as a Chief Energy Operator.

Plus, Christina has a special offer for those eager to take the first step on this journey from burnout to balance. Stay tuned as we uncover the keys to a regulated nervous system, a mindful approach to wellbeing, and the embodiment of balanced success.

This is one episode you won’t want to miss!

About Christina Kunkle

Christina is a Resilience Coach, Transformational Leader, Reiki Master, and Author. She is the founder of Synergy Life and Wellness Coaching, and creator of Transformational Leadership Programs, Mastermind Circles, and Restorative Retreats.

Her greatest joy is helping Heart-Centered, Purpose-Driven High-Achievers create Balanced Success without Burning out by Working Sm

arter (not harder!), Playing Hard, and Resting Well.

Learn more at Christina’s website

Connect with Christina on social media:

Instagram

Facebook?

 

Full Transcript: 

Rachel: Welcome to the magic mindfulness podcast. I’m Rachel and I have a very special guest with me today, Christina Kunkle. We met several years ago through a women’s networking event and then eventually went on to work with her as my life coach and Reiki practitioner.

And so Christina, if you would just give us a quick bio, introduce

Christina: yourself. I’m Christina Kunkle. And I’m the founder and CEO of Synergy Life and Wellness Coaching. I am someone who is I am a highly sensitive in a high tech world, and I am a heart centered high achiever. I am a recovering perfectionist, or maybe I’ll just claim that I’m actually an imperfectionist now.

I like that a little bit better. I like that. I like that. Yeah. So I’ve been in Synergy Life and Wellness Coaching now since 2008. I can’t hardly even believe it’s been that long. Time

Rachel: flies when you’re having fun.

Christina: It really

Rachel: does. Awesome. Awesome. Thank you for that. So we worked together several years ago and when you were my coach, actually unexpectedly, you ended up guiding me through the most difficult time in my entire life.

And, you know, at the time we didn’t know what we were getting ourselves into, but, on a different note, one of the things that really stuck with me, one of the reasons that I came to you is because I was just feeling overwhelmed and exhausted and kind of fried and burned out. And we had a conversation that really stuck with me where you were talking about this evolution from the chief everything officer CEO to the chief energy operator, and it just had such a huge impact on my life and on my mindset and I thought that that might be powerful for you to share today if you want to get into that a little

Christina: bit.

I would love to it’s a tool that is really helpful to be able to contrast, who we are being. So one of the first things that I think is important for everyone to know is that we as women oftentimes are carrying such heavy responsibilities, such heavy expectations. We want to work. We want to. have a family.

We want to be present to both things. We want to have creative outlets. We want friendships. And sometimes, well, I should speak for myself. Um, I was a registered nurse by trade and worked almost 20 years in emergency medicine. So I came into the field of nursing Because my parents were both nurses, I was familiar with, with the profession.

I’m a very caring, you know, nurturing person. So becoming a nurse seemed very natural. But what I recognized very quickly was I was overwhelmed by, the energy of nursing and giving and especially the crisis oriented environment of emergency medicine. Um, and I didn’t at the time realize how highly sensitive I was in terms of how my nervous system was wired.

And so I became very exhausted and depleted and overwhelmed. I also at the time was more of a people pleaser. And so I took on more and more and more without perhaps asking for help or, um, You know, saying no, when I could have said no, but just said yes, because it seemed like, well, if I can do it, I should do it.

And if I did it once, I should be able to do it again. So what I found was I wasn’t managing my energy very well. I wasn’t what I call now untrained, highly sensitive person. I like that. I like that. Yeah. And what, over time, uh, with burnout after 20 years of nursing, what that taught me, what those red flags for me were, were wake up calls.

And that is what brought me to what I do now and why it’s so important to share these tools with women like you who are also really loving, caring, compassionate women in service to other people, giving of your heart, giving of your soul. And how is it that you can serve others from a reservoir, like from a well of goodness of energy of balance and still care for yourself and have balance in your life as well.

So the path to burnout caused autoimmune symptoms. It, you know, it was, it was very, significant for me. It stopped me in my tracks. And, um, the things that I’m going to share from this, what I call self assessment, it’s like, you are the CEO of YOU. Yes. I love every single person is a CEO of themselves. And whether it’s, Acknowledged and by design and on purpose, or whether it is by default, and just happens, you know, to us, we are still either one kind of CEO, or the other.

So we are either the chief everything officer, or the chief energy operator. So if I had known, This if someone had had this tool and they shared this with me when I was going into nursing I graduated with my registered nurse degree at 19. Oh, wow I skipped my senior year of high school went straight into nursing school Didn’t take any summers because I really needed to get out and start to take care of myself Yeah, and if someone, when I was 19, 20, 21, had shown me that I needed to factor my self care in to the equation of helping others, it would have made the biggest difference.

It’s powerful,

Rachel: isn’t it? We always think that we don’t have time for ourselves. We give and give and give until we’re depleted, but like you said, that intentional self care we can give from this reservoir

Christina: I just turned 58. Right. So over the past decades of learning and growing and expanding and evolving very intentionally and on purpose, I’m happy to say, right, I’m a highly trained, highly sensitive person.

That’s, that’s amazing. And to be in a position where I’m more of an observer of myself and I know how to navigate when I get off center, it’s really helpful. And so these tools, that I’ve created this one in particular are really helpful. So what I’m going to do is. I’m going to share it like, um, red flags of toxic success that lead to burnout, right?

That’s the chief everything officer and then green flags of, of balance success, which is the chief energy operator. And your listeners can download this PDF and take the checklist and check the red flags, the green flags, just to kind of see where they are. In the realm of heading toward burnout because many women are really feeling stuck like in the fast lane of life.

Yes,

Rachel: I’ve encountered the same thing. I’ve experienced it myself and I’ve encountered it with the women that I

Christina: work with. Yeah, you know, some motherhood, midlife work, caring for aging parents, all of the stressors, you know, so if you can imagine four silhouette of women, the one on the left is a silhouette, which is an outline of a woman.

And when you’re looking at that silhouette, there are all of these holes. That are are throughout it looks like kind of like Swiss cheese. Yep. Right. Yes. The woman beside her moving to the right, still has some of that diffuse. You know, energy pattern, lots of, you know, space in between. And then the one to her right has filled in quite a bit and just looks more solid.

And then the one on the far left is anchored and grounded and centered. That is the evolution from the state of being the everything. Officer to the energy operator. They both are CEO of YLU, but they’re very different types of CEOs. So if I could share some of the characteristics and some of the traits and things that might be going on between.

each of them. I think that

Rachel: would be wonderful. I think that was, yeah. So we can bring in that mindfulness and that self awareness so that we can, you know, from a place of non judgment, from a place of self compassion, kind of understand our baseline and see how we can evolve

Christina: from there. I love that you said that the self compassion piece, because we have the self awareness tools like this.

And we can’t skip over the self awareness into self compassion and loving ourselves, you know, despite the areas that pop up for us that we may feel like, oh my goodness, I do that. Oh my goodness, I have that. Oh my goodness, I feel that. Therefore, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, I, you know, I’m going to feel even worse about myself because I need to get it together.

I thought I was further along than that. I should know this by now. So, so it’s awareness and then it’s self compassion and then it’s stepping into self leadership and that’s what this kind of awareness tool does. Gives us a snapshot, we infuse some love around it and then we figure out what’s the next best step for me to take.

So the first thing I will do is contrast. The characteristic of being in your conditioned self, the social self, that is one of the red flags. It is necessary for us to have a social self. It’s the, it’s the part of us that is out in the world, engaging, communicating, doing our thing. It’s also the, the part of ourselves who is Pretending, oftentimes, to be a certain way to gain approval or validation.

The conditioning that we go through, that teachers tell us we should act like, or be like, that parents train us, To act like or be like that friends expect us to act like or be like, you know, because of, you know, uh, our social circles or our religion or, you know, our, work, you know, roles or whatever, it’s the conditioning and the social self that is a little bit external and that’s okay to a point, but there’s a tipping point that spills over oftentimes into losing who we are.

Yes. So the opposite of that is our essential self. It’s our authenticity. Our authentic self is often what many of my clients have. They have traded, they have traded that in for achievement being validated. being accepted, you know, being enough or what they consider that that must look like. Does that make sense?

Rachel: That makes perfect sense. And I like how you say we’ve traded that authenticity for, um, you know, for this approval, because that’s exactly what it is. We, we lose ourselves in this conditioning.

Christina: Absolutely. The second contrast would be that the state of the chief everything officer is more disconnected and disconnected from herself first, from a power greater than herself and from other people, and oftentimes is fiercely independent.

Uh, I do not want to ask for help because that makes me look weak. I can

Rachel: so relate to that. That’s exactly where I was several years ago,

Christina: yes. And if I’m weak, therefore I’m vulnerable. And when I’m vulnerable, I feel very unsafe. Or when I have felt vulnerable in the past, bad things have happened. So therefore, I will do anything to just grit my teeth and Barrett, right?

Do it myself. Yeah. Versus the chief energy operator who knows that she thrives in community. She’s connected to herself with self awareness, self love, self leadership. She’s connected that way because she knows who she is. She is a heart centered, purpose driven woman who is guided by her core values. And when I ask women what their values are, there’s often a conversation around that, that is like, oh my gosh, I’m not sure, you know, like I’ve kind of gotten away from thinking about it.

Like, what is it that I value? What kind of person Do I want to be while I’m doing what I’m doing while I’m out there achieving and ticking off the boxes and climbing the ladder of, of what I think is success. Am I, am I guided by, you know, what’s outside of me or am I being guided by my core values?

So she’s very connected to herself, to a power greater than her, which is the language of intuition. Yes. She can hear her higher self speak and she knows the value of taking that time to connect in with herself before she goes out into the world because it’s easy to get distracted and get lost in the minutiae and in the busyness, right?

It is. It’s so easy. So the community, that feeling of belonging to herself, to a power greater than herself, To other people through community and for for our tribe, it’s sisterhood, right? Yeah. There are many different ways to be nourished for the synergy success circle community tribe.

Um, sisterhood, it’s about first, you know, love yourself. First lead yourself. Each one be one, like whole, heals, and complete within herself. Each one teach one what she’s learned. Through transparency or through who she’s being and then each one reach one each one teach one So you’re be one reach one teach one.

I love that. That’s so powerful yeah, yeah, and it’s like a great way to explain the energy of Being held, holding space for each other as we grow. It’s very, very unique and very important. And I see you, you doing like when I’m taking your yoga classes, I see you nurturing other women and whoever’s there.

I see you not just being in a role of a teacher, but you’re a, a solopreneur. Your heart is in the work you do. And that shows. I hope

Rachel: so. I hope so. Because it’s definitely a heart project, passion project.

Christina: Yeah. Yeah. And that’s why I’m drawn to you. That’s why I appreciate you. That’s why I said yes to this.

It’s because, you know, um, I, I’ve always felt deeply connected. To you as a, as a soul sister.

Rachel: Yes. Yes. We had, I feel like we hit it off right away. We just had a lot in common. I remember so many synchronicities in our meetings together and when you were my coach, I just remember so many little synchronicities and like, we were just always on the same page.

Christina: Yeah. Yeah. So the third one is whether or not https: otter. ai fear based. And when we’re fear based, we tend to be like a little bit more, um, focused on our ego needs. The ego’s not bad. It’s our everyday mind, right? But what ego stands for for me is like edging God out. Ooh, that’s a good one. You know?

Yeah. And it’s about lack. There’s never enough. So our, it’s kind of like a fixed mindset. We’re closed to learning and, and we’re always feeling like, you know, there’s just not enough. There’s not enough to go around versus an, a growth mindset, which is spirit led. And then it leads us more into an abundance mentality versus scarcity.

So that’s another, you know, contrast. Yes. The fourth one would be, um, whether or not we feel like we’re anxious, kind of like in the panic zone, we’re kind of our energy scattered out here, or whether we’re, we’re at home in the learning zone and our energy is kind of contained, uh, we have emotional regulation and containment too, in this space.

The chief energy operator knows, um, that she’s responsible for the energy she brings into the spaces around her and is very mindful about that. And so whether that anxiety is brought into places or whether the calm is brought into places, you know, there’s no judgment. It’s just observation, you know, and it’s just, it’s just an awareness that helps us navigate.

And we can reset and, you know, like, um, bring ourselves back into a calm state quicker and quicker and quicker as we practice how to do that.

Rachel: That’s exactly what I was about to say. Once I, once I gained this awareness, I could sense when I was getting more scattered, and I, over time, I got much better at bringing myself back to

Christina: center.

Mm, yeah. So the chief everything officer is often overwhelmed. Yes. Um, yeah, overwhelm, I am so overwhelmed, is the phrase that I hear the most often. And what that really is correlating to is a nervous system that is dysregulated. A nervous system that is in, um, high activation in the sympathetic space of the nervous system, either, you know, fight or flight.

So it’s, it’s either fighting, fleeing, it’s either freezing, which is my favorite, you know, like, let me just make everyone else happy. You know, um, I’ll do anything, just don’t be mad at me, you know, um, and so those states are all sympathetic overload. So the nervous system is completely overwhelmed and it, we’re not meant to be in that state forever, like chronic longterm, that really burns our adrenals out and it causes our immune system to crash.

So it’s, it’s, it’s an. overwhelmed nervous system versus a nervous system that’s regulated and nourished. And, you know, being able to have a nervous system that is regulated, the chief energy operator knows how different foods make her feel, how different activities or exercises either, you know, enliven her or drain her.

So it’s a matter of observation and practice. Yeah. You know, so the nervous system, um, with, the chief energy operator being nourished is more in the rest and restore mode. And when a crisis occurs, she can get into the sympathetic drive and then come back down to neutral a little easier. Yes. The next one would be physical symptoms of dis ease.

Um, when you are the chief everything officer, it’s almost like everything hurts. You know, you know, it’s like the physical symptoms of your body saying, again? Yeah. Or, isn’t it nap time? Yeah. Or, you know, did we eat today? You know, it’s like, it’s like illness or dis ease. Any symptom that is uncomfortable, that is painful, um, it’s a red flag.

It’s a, it’s a part of us that is like, Hey, I’m over here. Pay attention. Yeah. Oftentimes we just. We keep pushing through. We don’t want to, we don’t want to hear it. Ain’t nobody got time to slow down? Nope. You know, have you seen that meme? Like, ain’t nobody got time for that. I have seen

Rachel: that one, yes. Oh my goodness.

Christina: But the chief energy operator knows that, um, you know, with physical health and well being, there are very different routes. routines and habits and practices that she has on purpose added into her schedule as appointments with herself. Like they’re that important. They are take, take breaks, eat lunch, go outside, you know, get fresh air, talk to a friend, you know, all of the things that bring us to You know, creating oxytocin and connection, creating serotonin and feeling, you know, really good creating endorphins and getting moving.

Or creating dopamine and getting that reward boost for, for, you know, our chemistry in our body oftentimes, you know, just thrives and craves that. So that’s a contrast there. The next one would be whether we are just surviving. In the crop cycle, which is the cycle of reactivity and panic. We’re very reactive in the crop cycle in the red flag zone.

There’s also a crop cycle in the green flag zone, and that is the cycle of resilience and peace, you know. And I, I just did that for fun. I made that up as a contrast. I love to teach through contrast, if you can’t tell.

Rachel: I think that’s perfect. And as you were saying that, I realized, when I came to you several years ago to work with you, I was in the first crap cycle and now I’m firmly entrenched in the second crap cycle.

And I didn’t like, it’s just who I am now. Right. Right. It took all that inner work, you know, and practice and self awareness to get here, but I feel so much better now.

Christina: Yeah. Oh, that’s, that’s great. That, that is awesome. And the next one is really important. I think it might be the most important, um, as it relates to the spirals and the loops we can get into that really are downward spirals or upward spirals.

So downward spiral, this Chief everything officer is the downward spiral to burnout. That is unhealthy patterns, personality patterns, patterns of behaving or habits, um, that are oftentimes unconscious to us until we begin to do this work and become conscious until we become aware and conscious, we can’t fix anything.

So there’s no judgment as I read these. Okay. Right. The first one is, and, and see if, if you don’t resonate or have any like ahas, um, in your own work. Okay. So these really create ruptures and conflicts within yourself and with other people. So perfectionism, procrastination, over committing, um, overworking, over giving often from lack of boundaries.

People pleasing, fear of conflict, being critical of ourselves, of self talk, or critical of other people, being, uh, someone who is always comparing, like, your own experience to, like, what you see as the highlight reel of someone else’s life, you know? Mm hmm. Comparing. Comparing. Being overly competitive. and unforgiving.

Those are some of the relational, um, red flags. I can relate to so many

Rachel: of those. I know, right? And so many of my clients as well.

Christina: Yes. Yeah. So the green flags would be those relationship patterns that really foster repair. You know, it’s not that ruptures don’t occur in relationships because that’s how we learn.

Right. And that’s how we grow. But they’ve, but these patterns and habits, they foster repair and they foster intimacy with ourselves, with our higher power, with other people. So it would be about having flexibility, having initiative, being willing to say no, and maybe disappointing other people.

Oh, um, taking self care breaks. One is setting boundaries that are clear, but you know, you know, protecting the boundaries with love. We don’t have to be aggressive and mean, but with love. Yeah. The other would be, um, speaking her truth and telling the truth, being authentic. So often I think we tend to tell other people what we think that they want to hear.

Rachel: Yes. Yeah,

Christina: you know, but that’s not really in service to anyone, nobody, anywhere, being compassionate toward ourselves and towards other people and then showing grace. So that, those are the contrasts between toxic success and balanced success. So you know, my PDF has the, the way that you can kind of look at those and then circle all the red flags and the green flags and add them up.

They kind of see which, you know, which things resonate the most with you and maybe how they’re affecting you.

Rachel: I love that. Thank you so much for sharing. This has been, it’s just such a powerful contrast to see the difference. Yeah. So I will link this PDF in the show notes here. So it’ll be right below.

If you’re watching on the video, you’ll have it right beneath us. If you’re listening to us, you’ll have the link right below the audio. Wonderful. If someone takes the assessment and they find that they are more on the chief everything officer side if they’re feeling that their success is not feeling balanced, what would you say would be the first step they could take to kind of begin to steer themselves in the other direction?

Christina: You know, I would have to say the first step would be to consider, um, you know, there’s so much sometimes. That we don’t know we don’t know. And so taking the first step to get curious, I would say curiosity, and I would welcome anyone who is curious to reach out and connect, um, with me. Um, you can do that through my website and then you’ll also have a link to connect with me.

And just. Give me your name and your information and create. a connection that way. I would love to chat. I mean, I give a complimentary, session with those who are considering, uh, how these things are showing up and what they may want to do if they’re open to learning more through coaching. But the curiosity without judgment would be the first thing, the most important thing, whether it’s someone that reaches out to me or reaches out to, you know, anywhere, you know, shows up in any of our circles, right?

Of, of growth. It would be curiosity without judgment and you don’t have to do it alone. Yes.

Rachel: I love that. I love that. Thank you so much for being here. It was so powerful to see the contrast between this chief everything officer and the chief energy operator. And to know that we have, you know, The power to steer our path towards that chief energy operator side.

Do you have any final, um, messages or takeaways for listeners that you want to leave them with today?

Christina: We’re here. I mean, it would be that we’re here for a reason and all of the things that we get stuck in, they don’t have to be permanent and you can use absolutely anything that you’ve gone through or that has happened to you to move forward.

Rachel: Yes, I have learned that the hard way. You are so right. You are so

Christina: right. So have I.

Rachel: Yes. Oh my gosh, thank you so much. It has been such an honor to have you here today. And I will link to all of this in the show notes as

Christina: well. My pleasure.