Every year, we’re told to set big goals and crush them. But if you’re wondering how to make lasting changes, the problem might not be your goals – it could be the way you’re approaching them.

You know that feeling when you’re pushing yourself to change-really trying your hardest-but it feels like you’re stuck in place? Like no matter how much effort you pour in, it’s just not clicking?

We’ve all been there. Setting a big goal or resolution, determined that this time we’ll make the change stick, only to feel defeated when it doesn’t. If that’s you right now, I want you to know something important: you’re not alone, and it’s not a reflection of your worth or effort. It’s simply a sign that there’s a gentler, more aligned way forward to make lasting changes in your life.

The Hidden Reason Change Feels So Hard

There are two main reasons traditional approaches to change often backfire:

1. Your Nervous System’s Response When we try to make dramatic changes all at once, our body actually perceives it as a threat. Your brain’s built-in alarm system-the amygdala-triggers a stress response, releasing cortisol and adrenaline. Instead of feeling motivated, you end up feeling stuck or overwhelmed.
2. The “Should” Trap Many resolutions aren’t even aligned with what we truly want. They’re rooted in “shoulds”-those external expectations we absorb from society, social media, or well-meaning friends:

• • “I should wake up at 5 AM”
  • “I should exercise every day”
  • “I should meditate for 30 minutes every morning”

Working With (Not Against) Your Natural Flow

Understanding how to make lasting changes starts with recognizing that everything in life moves in cycles. Day flows into night, seasons transition from one to the next. These rhythms are embedded in the natural world, and whether we realize it or not, they guide us too.

You are part of nature, and honoring your rhythm is one of the most compassionate things you can do for yourself. Just like nature doesn’t rush its seasons, you don’t need to rush your growth-everything happens in its own time.

Understanding Your Personal Seasons

Your transformation follows a similar pattern to nature:

• Spring: Times of new beginnings, feeling creative and energized
• Summer: Periods when your work is fully expressed
• Autumn: Seasons of harvesting what you’ve worked for
• Winter: Phases of rest, reflection, and integration

Even when it looks like nothing is happening on the surface, there’s deep work occurring underneath. Wherever you are in your cycle, know that it’s exactly where you’re meant to be.

Why Transformation Isn’t Linear

Think of your growth journey like following a winding path. You have your starting point and a destination in mind, but the journey between them rarely follows a straight line. Instead, it’s more like a spiral:

• You set an intention
• Take steps forward
• Learn and adjust along the way
• Reach new perspectives
• Set new intentions from this higher vantage point

Each time you revisit a familiar challenge, you’re approaching it with new wisdom and deeper understanding. You’re not just reaching for a goal-you’re evolving into the person who’s ready to achieve it.

Finding Your Natural Rhythm: A Simple Framework

When you understand how to make lasting changes by working with your natural rhythm instead of against it, transformation becomes more sustainable and enjoyable.

Here’s how to start working with your natural flow:

1. Map Your Energy

• Notice which activities energize you
• Identify what feels draining or forced
• Observe patterns in your natural daily flow

2. Set Flexible Intentions Instead of rigid goals, create gentle guideposts. For example:

• Rather than “Meditate 30 minutes daily”
• Try “Explore ways to feel more grounded”

3. Create Daily Check-ins Ask yourself:

• What small step feels aligned today?
• What does my energy need right now?
• How can I make this easier?

4. Honor Rest Remember that rest isn’t a break from transformation-it’s an essential part of it. Give yourself permission to:

• Take breaks when needed
• Integrate changes slowly
• Celebrate small progress

But What About…

“What if I need to make big changes quickly?”

Even in times of urgency, you can honor your rhythm by including recovery periods. Think of it like planting a garden in fast-forward-you might need to prepare quickly, but you still need to let nature do its part.

“Doesn’t this mean staying comfortable?”

Not at all. Working with your rhythm isn’t about avoiding growth-it’s about growing sustainably. Think of it as nurturing the soil rather than depleting it.

Your natural rhythm is like your fingerprint-completely unique to you. When you work with it instead of against it, transformation becomes less about forcing change and more about allowing your authentic growth to unfold.

Remember: Real change happens not when you push harder, but when you flow with the rhythm that’s already within you.

Ready to Get Started?

Choose one area of your life where you’d like to create change this week. Notice your natural patterns. Take small steps. Trust the process.

By honoring your natural rhythm and following these steps, you’ve learned how to make lasting changes that truly stick—not through force, but through flow.

Want to Dive Deeper?

Download my free “Finding Your Natural Rhythm” guide for a step-by-step process to map your flow and create lasting change with ease.

Click Here

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